I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize