She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
