Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
