Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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