things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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