did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
