Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
