why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Shame - the story of my life.
the raccoons are back...
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