U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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