would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I currently don't understand fingers.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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