Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
