do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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