i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
