It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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