We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
