Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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