i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
