Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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