how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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