Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
