There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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