Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
