before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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