What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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