I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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