Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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