you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They took my balls.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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