I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
