who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
