anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
