So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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