wanna go halves on a baby?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
