Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
