Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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