She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
