He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize