He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My balls are so social today.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
