Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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