Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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