He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
