she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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