She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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