I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
