don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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