Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
