so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
