i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
