I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
