stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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