the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize