so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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