so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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