My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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