new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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