There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
