Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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