No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
