We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
