Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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