We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Couch. On fire.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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