a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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