Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
