I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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